Ebbs and Flows

 

Life is but an endless ebb and flow of emotions. This year has been really difficult for me and I must have sensed the events that were to unfold before my short break from the blog. As a writer I always try to look on the bright side of life, but this past month had me sinking from all the waves of loss.

 

I almost didn’t write this post out of fear of changing my blog’s tone which was to have a happy outlook with nature, be all about play, and the great discoveries of one’s self. Underneath it all though, the blog has been about the overall “unfolding” of the heart and with all joy there is also sadness.  This thought reminded me of a movie I watched recently, “Inside Out“. Spoiler alert: The movie is mainly about how joy needs sadness just as much as sadness needs joy. Sadness creates an appreciation of how special each moment is and happiness creates memories to help us through times of difficulty. 

 

So as a heads up to my readers, my posts may not be like they were before, but hopefully they will evolve into something more these next couple of months. One’s with more compassion and appreciation of each passing moment.

 

 

 

High Tides Begin to Recede

 

I’ve been working on this post for about a month, just like in the post Ebbs and Flows I wanted to share a deeper side of my emotional heart once again. I’ve noticed life is full of a wide diversity of emotions, and unless all are seen as a whole, its hard to pull back from the less talked about emotions of loss and emotional weight. Since the beginning of this year I have experienced both many times and often find that working on the blog during these times was too difficult. Though it has been quite rough, I feel a growth of understanding and gratefulness of everything emerging.

 

 

Earlier in the year I lost my grandmother, from my father’s side, to cancer. She left on the first day of Spring and something about that made her passing easier in a way. It was quick and sudden for our whole family. We had experienced the affects of cancer before, but it’s just as painful if not more to have to again. She was a matriarch to our family and all of us looked up to her independent and lovingly stern spirit. My mother always saw her as “mom,” and thought if back pain could be diagnosed into cancer then maybe she should get her pains checked out as well.

 

 

 Around the time of my nature walk , in April, we were waiting on the news from her doctor. A few weeks later the large mass in her chest was diagnosed as cancer. I was devastated. Cancer was back in the family again and this time in my best friend and mentor, my mother.

 

 

We did what we could to have fun to keep it off our minds, before and after her treatments. Its been rough but we’ve given it our best. Last month tension started to ease up when the Doctor said the mass had almost become non-existent. Today we got the great news, my mother is in remission! This endeavor is not over but now we are able to take a deep breath and relax. During times like these you really notice the importance of family, love and understanding. I don’t know what I would have done without my family and friends. Now that the emotional tides are receding I will appreciate each day even more than I did before. ❤